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Showing posts with label My Angel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Angel. Show all posts

Sunday, October 7, 2007

The journey's long
And it feels so bad
I'm thinking back to the last day we had.
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

On a clear day
I'll fly home to you
I'm bending time getting back to you
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

... happy anniversary Angel.. its been a great year..
love u.. :*

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

the first 11 days

red clouds of wine,
keep rising from under my bed,
when it bubbles it takes me of my edge,
its nice to see, the wavy patterns,
its nice to see water, after the smoke lifts,
i cant eat the crap of my ancestors,
but i miss it so,
bread crumbs on my finger tips,
crunchy drums which caress my lips,
sitting in a crowded place,
seeing white faces smile with grace,
its new, its different, i have no clue,
just the smoky circles, they fill my room,
i have a circle beneath my ear,
i do nothing but its spiky hair,
its a big big city, with so many orange lights,
and from my friends house i can see my past frights,
lifes too boring, wishes so small,
i miss my Angel and i wish i cud call,
2 months, we promised ourselves,
then i`d be with her, we`d be together again,
shes all i need, its true this isnt a dream.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

thank you

most people get to fall in love once, others are lucky.


i look at myself, and i see, the darkness around me,
i hear, the laughter inside me,
the cackle of disaster, the voice of an impostor.
and then i see you, the darkness vaporises around me,
i don't go deaf, but the laughter recedes inside me,
i become myself again.
the painful memories,
the empty thoughts,
the mementos of destruction,
finally leave me.

you help me back onto my feet,
you scold me,
control me,
and tell me, i could be what i always dreamed i would be,
happy,
and i say thank you,
for all your care,
thank you for my grief you have shared,
and thank you for believing in me,
when i gave up life,
thank you, for holding onto me.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

dreams do come true


its not over. its just started. its been 10 months and two days, usually i`d rather leave and hang out with my friends or be alone. thinking up of reasons to break up. thats what has happened before. the only thing i hung on was the feeling of being alone, then.
what takes relationships to work? guess the only thing would be wanting it to work. and to be honest it takes alot of mistakes to know that. alot of misjudgments. hurt. tears. happiness and laughter. understanding. want.
i never thought a woman could give me the total satisfaction of being with her. gratitude. im not easy to be with. my close friends know that. paranoid beyond reason. i talk of trust but yet fail to trust when i need to. scenarios of mistrust run all over my mind, with but one miss call. yet now, its different. how much love and care does it take to do that? i wish i had a machine or a universal scale. i dont but even if i did, convert that into percentage and i`d get a hundred out of hundred.
relationships are hard for me because of me. external factors, experience, my own genes. my need for my sense of security. take that all into an equation and you get my dysfunctional mind. and yet again you stuck by me. sacrificed so much for me. i cant talk of change for the better because i didnt change but still you stayed. gratitude. i loved you so much for that.
i know in many ways and times i`ve tried to tell you this, failed miserably. the good things in life are so hard to find. i got someone i needed, someone i didnt know i wanted. i got both. i got you. i love you so much for that.
we have come this far because of you. and we are going to live a happy life. 11 months later, 10 years later. because of you. and making me know that makes me love you even more. i cant tell you enough, i cant sing or write enough of how much you mean to me. this is as close as i can get to express it; if sugar turned sour, and blood filled the rivers, if the sun blocks out, and even if i get diagnosed with cancer, i woudnt mind if you are there with me. my best friend, my Angel.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

red Angel


most were being good for goodness sake
but you wouldn't pantomine
you are more beautiful when you awake
than most are in a lifetime
through the haze that is my memory
you stayed for drama though you paid for a comedy

i know i can be colorful
i know i can be gray
i know this loser's living fortunate
cause i know you will love me either way

for my Angel, miss you alot loabs.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

salazar


for my Angel, who likes him so much.

Monday, July 9, 2007

happy anni Angel

life is never perfect you taught me that. its not what you want it to be but thats ok you say, i loved you for that. i have been happy, i have been sad but most of all i`ve been really glad that for once in my life i know im secure and safe. im glad i have you. to love. happy anniversary Angel.

Monday, July 2, 2007

thoughts for someone i love

i dont know how i will ever tell you this. there are times when life makes us go crazy. when life makes no sense. and the only thing we can think about is why? i dont know why God picked on you. I dont know why he made you suffer. I dont know why he made you loose faith in him being fair. Aslu as screwed up as I am, i guess im not the perfect person to tell you that life is going to be better. Just there is something i would like to say. In my life people have hurt me. And if God had a will in that or not i dont know. He has taken people around me. People who i have loved. I have lost friends and few more. I have no connections with many of my family. God willed that or i did it to myself i dont know. Maybe i do but then again that is something i never want to think about. People have hurt me. People have betrayed me. People have lied to me. People have left me. I just want to promise you something. Life brings us waves and waves of misfortune. And there comes people distinctively to hurt us. Its like they have a factory for it and they do come. But i promise to stand by you. Through lifes deceptions on whats right and wrong i`ll be there to help you choose. I`ll help you smile when you dont want to. Help you cry when you need to. I promise you that i wont give God a chance for him to make it possible for me to screw up what i have with you. He can never get that chance. Because i Feel free with you. i can smile. I love you Angel; i would never leave you and i promise to never change.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

heaven


Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Welcome back Angel !!!


deep in an ocean of sand,
i tried to swim without my jacket my guiding hands,
i tried to see in the dark,
without my torch my guiding hands,
i tried to sleep but cudnt,
without my content my guiding hands.


Am so glad you`re back Angel. Missed you a lot.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

chocolate milk

she had just opened her eyes, sensing her husbands absense she started to get up to find him and remembered he was on a trip in the islands. She sighed and plopped back into bed but wasnt asleep when her two little kids came into the room, argueing as usual.
Hakim jumped up onto the bed and shouted "thedhuvey, thedhuvey", he was four.
"Hey dont talk to your Mom like that Hakim!" said his sister Eva with a frown on her face. Standing with her arms pressed against her hips, she was seven.
"Whatever, sis" replied Hakim with a 'do i look like i care' look.
"and dont talk to me like that either" said Eva with an even fiercer look than before.
"actually u wake Mom up usually with your yelling, so puleeese continue, please" said Hakim smiling from the corners of his mouth.
their mom sensing that she had to get up now said, "ok ok so why are you two fighting, its morning you know".
"Hakim dhai noogulhan vegen eindhee ais" said Eva.
after pulling his tongue out at his sister Hakim said "Mom brush my teeth, Dad huri iru he brushed my teeth nu, i dont wana do it by myself"
"you know you should grow up, you cant depend on Dad to brush your teeth you know, when you grow old he`s not gona do all that dho Mom?" said Eva and looked at her Mom for support.
Her mom looked at Eva then at Hakim and thought "i`d rather not take sides"...
"Ok you guys go get ready, i`ll make you breakfast" she said finanlly.
"what are you gona make me eat?" asked Hakim loudly his eyes wide open, it was as if he`s mother had told him to jump of the roof.
"what do you want Hakim?" asked his Mother
"umm chocolate milk, and nothing else" said Hakim
"ok go, get ready." said their Mother, "Hakim.. now please"
she got into the shower and was just drying her hair when their was a ring on her phone.
"Hey loabs" it was her Husband.
"Hey, was just thinking about you" she replied smiling.
"yeah? why what did Hakim say?" he said with a small laugh.
she told him what had happened and that she would call later she had to go make breakfast.
"ok, love you babes" he said.
"love you too, bye" she said and hung up.
she put on white armless dress and went out of her room to the kitchen. to her suprise they were already sitting in the dining chairs, each with a book. Actually a comic in Hakims hands. Both had dressed well she thought, probably Eva`s doing. Eva was dressed in a armless blue tshirt which went upto her thighs with little pink shorts. Hakim was wearing his favourite Kakashi tshirt, and his black shorts.
she made the chocolate milks and cheese toast.
"mom i said i only wanted the milk nothing else dho" said Hakim.
"Eva ves kaa hithey ney, seriousleee" said Eva as loud as Hakim.
" i dont know why you guys dont eat breakfast, its the most important meal of the day" advised her mom.
"Mom dont copy what other people say" said Eva an eyebrow raised as she said it.
"what do you mean? im not copying its a known fact" said her Mother annoyed.
"so why are u saying like in a cartoon?" Eva raised her right arm pointing her index finger in the air and said in a deep voice, "breakfast is the most important meal, kids!"
her Mother just burst out laughing and said "mi annanee, make sure you both eat that"
she went into her room but could hear Eva talking.
"Mom ah kithanme jessun kurinyas we should eat Hakim. Mom ulhey iru nukaanee. *hehe* ekamu dhiyaama we should eat" said Eva
"I dont want to make Mom sad ey dhonths, just i miss Dad" said Hakim making a sad face.
"you know you shoudnt only love Dad" said Eva with a little frown now.
"i love Mom too, but Dads more fun, moms like you not fun" he said.
"moms fun ennu?" said Eva her eyebrow raised again.
"yeah i guess, she`s fun with Dad but she`s kinda strict with us" said Hakim
"she`s strict?" asked Eva
after giving Eva a 'as if you didnt know' look Hakim went on to explain, "yeah she like makes me do homework and not watch cartoons all the time and makes me go to bed"
"well thats cause she wants you to be good" said Eva
"yeah but i want to go to school without doing homework" said Hakim smiling again with the corners of his mouth.
"teacher eyrun halhey lavaaneynu" said Eva
"yeah but i like it" said Hakim still with his naughty smile. And then put the glass of milk to his mouth and didnt put it down even when he had finished drinking.
thats when their Mother went back to the kitchen, and looked at Hakim, smiled, raised her left eyebrow and asked, "Im not Fun, Hakim?"
Hakim narrowed his eyes as if in anger his mouth still firmly clamped to the glass. He didnt say anything....

Sunday, May 13, 2007

hakim


Thursday, May 10, 2007

the stupid island story by Hakim

two parents were playfully argueing in the corridor, and playfully the mother was pinching the father. the father then grabs the mother and starts to kiss her when,
"will you guys please keep it down? im trying to sleep here" said a lil boy coming out of his room. in his lil pyjamas rubbing his eyes and with hair which went upto his shoulders all over his face.
"mom can you PULEESE have your hangouts somewhere else? maybe you can find a house for your hangouts. so i could sleep here. you know i need to sleep. i have to play the game tomorow and i want to get up. seriously!!!"
"sorry darling we`ll keep it down, lets go i`ll tuck you in again" said the mother. and kind of leaned on his shoulders to drag him back to bed.
"you know you need to start talking in dhivehi" said the mom laying next to him. "how can i, i dont even understand the language" said the little boy indignantly. Sure as the sun would rise each day thought the mother, this was her son. stubborn to the core.
"im not good at writing it, im not good at it MOM!" said the almost asleep but still loud like his mother.
"ok ok" said his mother smiling.
"But you know im good at english, see i thought of a story too. Its called the island. and you are there dad is there and my lil sis.." he was going to continue but his mother cut him off saying, "your sister? when did that happen?"
"no you see i want a sis cause its kinda boring being alone, you know." explained the boy, with his eyes almost closed now. "just listen to the story mom. puleese why do grownups talk so much? seriously!".
"sorry sorry, puleeese continue" said his mother.
"ok so theres me and you and (yawn) daaaad and my lil sis. we go to an island..." said the boy. his mother wasnt looking at him at that moment and after awhile when he didnt speak, she looked at his face and smiled, he had dozed off. she said goodnight in a whisper, just thinking how lucky she was.
"kappithaanu nidhee tha?" asked his dad when his mother returned to their room. "yeah he is" said his mother.
"so what did he want" asked his dad. "a lil sis, peace and quite and would probably want to rule over a country or something one day" said his mother with a snigger at the end of her sentence.
"and yeah he made up a story again".
"aslu? salhi salhi salhi, and about that lil sis thing, i think we could give him that"said the dad smiling wickedly.
"yeah thats what you want" said the mother in a sarcastic voice but still smiling. And thought "hmm i never got to hear the end of his story, maybe tomorow."
*thanx for this Angel.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Psychedelic II


am not afraid of death, am not afraid of humiliation, am not afraid to cry, am not afraid to smile, am not afraid to hope, am not afraid to give in, am not afraid to hold on, am not afraid to go away, am not afraid the dark, am not afraid of light, am not afraid to walk, am not afraid to talk, am not afraid of loneliness, am not afraid of life.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

cast away and pulled back


(.... before)

i want to run away,

flee from the pain,

of whats known,

cant u let me go,

my sorrow my grief,

why wont u let me go.


i dont want to dwell.

dont want to see hearts swell,

its great to knw life as i knew it,

so why wont u quit it,

cant u let me go,

my sorrow my grief,

please let me go.


i dont want to see,

what u have taken away from me,

it dissapeared, its past,

lifes gone, its gone by so fast,

but why do u still bother me,

my sorrow my grief,

please let me be me.



(...now)

im free im fun,

long gone are days when i moan,

im happy im content,

im loved, im cared for, im appreciated with intent,

ha u think u can bother me?

my sorrow my grief,

listen closely this isnt the pathetic me

ive grown ive become whole,

ive been blessed and it came on a roll,

life doesnt bother me, non at all,

when i found my Angel, i stopped in midair, she broke my fall,

she broke my fall.... :)




Thursday, April 26, 2007

whenever im alone with you

Love Song 311
Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like

I am home again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am young again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away,

I will always love you

However long I stay,

I will always love you

Whatever words I say,

I will always love you

I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am free again

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away,

I will always love you

However long I stay,

I will always love you

Whatever words I say,

I will always love you

I will always love you

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

road trip to heaven

floating deep inside you,
red trees and yellow moons,
of green seas and basket of smiles,
i keep dancing beside you.

see the passing motions,
up and down i look into your eyes,
fast goes our lives,
pounding into the future,
but its still nice because at the middle u stop,
and say "i love you".

your voice changes with each cloud,
closing your eyes but still looking into mine,
until we reach that heaven on earth,
exploding into its depths,
we reach our destination,
exhausted and spent we smile like theres no end,
i wish the moment froze forever,
a haze covered our memories,
and let us be together untouched,
unseen and undisturbed forever,
completing our journey with each other,
our road trip to our haven.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Leaving Paradise


in the end the bitter end,

when ur all alone and noones around,

wont u be there,

wont u hold my hand,

its life im gona leave,

not ur thoughts or dreams,

im hoping to come back again,

through ur eyes and heart,

to breathe again.


its never hard to breathe,

even if i feel like im under water,

and i never need to swim,

i just know everytime im in the palm of your hand,

im not your puppet im not your lamb,

but it feels secure,

to be held so tight,

if you let me go i know i will fall,

im not worried im not sad,

cause in the end i`ll be there,

right where i want to be,

in your heart your soul,

smiling like a baby.


vivid colours of green and blue,

i see you blur and wittle,

cant beleive i have to go,

but i will return,

through valleys of sand,

of flying machines,

i will return,

to your smile, your laughter,

to you, love you Angel.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

My Angel


life is not a gift, sometimes i used to wonder why im even here. most of the time nothing actually makes sense. and im lost and confused. and god doesnt make life as easy as i want it to be. but then he gives me u. life still is confusing sumtimes but does make me glad im here. April 14, 2007 will never forget this day Angel.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

My Angel


got a good nights sleep after a long time.. thank you Angel.