chainless

the suns just coming up on the horizon. its a whole new day. he sat on a "bajiya ga". thinking of nothing special. why he was there at dawn? he really didnt have a reason. just he had nowhere to be. out of the blue he remebered a movie. where two guys are talking about smurfs the cartoon. they have a theory that papa smurf makes the "blondie" the only girl smurf so that all the other smurfs can have an orgy with her. it was a cartoon he thought. when we were young we see it, enjoy it, we dont even think once why there is only one female in the whole community. well he didnt he thought. why do we change so much. the world changes us, our thinking? but why are we so singly concentrated on one thing, sex. he just didnt know why almost everything revolved around it. sometimes he knew that was all he talked about. what his friends talked about. we change so much he thought.
the sun had risen basking him with the first lights of the day. its hot he thought but at the moment he still had nowhere to be so he didnt move. he remembered a time when he hated girls. he didnt like the way they talked or walked. or the way the teachers are always nice to them because they are girls. he smiled he was jealous too he thought. but it all changed. it was something inevitable. he grew up. he got new feelings. girls he hated, things he hated about them turned to things he looked forward to. their "annoying" voices turned to melodies. their "annoying" walks made him look at them more. he smiled he had changed so much. he smiled, he had forgotten the boy who always made faces at girls behind the teachers back.
as a kid life is in black and white he thought. meaning its not so complicated. you dont need to know much except what others think you should know. and while being a kid you think you are being left out, when you grow up you know it was far better being ignorant. its suprising the things we wish for. as a kid he always wanted to grow up. now he wishes he was a kid again. its like basic economics he thought we are never content with what we have. he remembered once where he had seen this movie where a kid makes a wish and wakes up an adult. he remembered he wished the same thing that night, except this was real life. he felt pretty crappy at the time but now, he was glad.
a kid has responsibilities but we are not monitored as much. if we do our homework, recite quran and do all our work before parent-teachers day then we are ok. as kids we are called angels. sweet hearts. loabigandu. chubby cheeks. we are the center of attention. we get gifts. we get alot of free stuff. we get to cry and everyone accepts that. people not liking it is another thing he thought. his mom always said he was one baby that never cried as much as the others. sometimes it never seemed that there was a baby in his house. maybe thats why he is such a devil now. maybe he thought. moms cant be wrong all the time.
he had heard that when babies or kids when they die they go straight to heaven. no long lines. no judgment day. he guessed thats why many angels are portrayed as babies. the cupids are anyway. it would have been great to die young he thought. a clean slate. no regrets. no pain. no sins. no judgment day. but for him he thought that would have been too easy. he was going to go when God wanted him to go. nothing changed that fact.
the sun was fully up now. he could see life stirring around him. motorcycles going by. people coming for an early morning swim. women and men trying to jog. and little kids coming out to play, with no care about the world. he smiled, about time he went back he thought. he gets up brushing sand from his jeans, he leaves...