the unavoidable

decisions. whats life without them? is it fun, might be. would it not fill you with regret, probably. how do i make decisions? based upon the situation i guess. its not always the happiest of ones. its not always what i want. but i do think the end result would be better. giving up what i could have for something more, or possibly because it was the right thing to do. doesnt make it feel any better though. not at that moment anyway.

but decisions are interesting to think about. a whole concept of individual and endless possibilities. for example based on what i wrote above you have already decided or taken a decision to decide what the hell i was talking about. what was it i did? general wondering at first, then you think about it or you decide not to or read on. what did i give up? curiosity is a decision. to read on is also a decision, hope you make the right one.

ever been at the top of a building wondering what it would feel like to just jump off? itch to jump infront of a train coming into a station? ever held a beer in your hand not able to decide whether to drink it or not? what makes us stop? God, would be an obvious reply but how many of us know what it feels like to really pray anymore? not to be hypocritical but i hear more "oh Gods" in pornos now. keeping the reason as God aside, what makes us not do these things? why do we decide to be normal. why is our goal in life to study, get a job, get married, have a good life and die. again that was in general, guess its not what most want now.

but we do decide to be normal, we decide against irrational behavior. we shun those who oppose it. we decide to value what we have and not throw it away, well most of us do. i do. why i do? its simple, happiness. i dont want to be criticized, dont want to be pointed at one day and told that i was the reason i wasnt happy, that i gave it up. self satisfaction while making others happy, complacensy or a wimp, you decide.

i didnt ask for it but a friend told me that we make decisions based on the situation, it can be what you want or you might regret it later but only time would tell. thats what i think too. decisions are everywhere, in broader view it is the whole concept of life, going back to God now, religion is based on two choices be good go to heaven, be bad go to hell. its ironic we all know this but as normal as we are, most of dont think about this choice much. we decide to feel good rather than be good. this isnt as difficult as choosing a toothpaste, i mean c`mon three thousand types of toothpaste? the choice between hell and heaven is easy, one you get all your desires in the other you burn all the time. decision between bliss and pain, as humans why do we voluntarily or not choose pain?

i had a friend, he did not believe in God, i asked him what if there is a hell? he replied if there is one i`ll burn in it, if not i`ll sleep, eternal bliss. he decided not to believe in God because our religion is mostly based on blind faith. it could not answer his questions. but thats not the case for most of us, most of us have not even tried to understand it. we have been given the decision to choose to learn, to believe but decisions on who to love, who to marry, which career to choose is just too important to us than ,apparently, heaven and hell. is it fair that we will someday go to heaven because we are muslims? for the record, i dont think we will, but then again i`ve already booked a small corner in hells fire.

now you decide to question why i am talking about heaven and hell and the easy choice and the fact that i said i am probably going to hell and why i decided pain was better than bliss, well, because i am like you. someone who doesnt say no to pleasure, who would rather not think about God. a voluntary or involuntary decision based on what makes me feel better, hypocritical i know, you arent any better though. no offense.